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lord flashheart
10-26-2011, 12:58 AM
sooooooo. i work with this guy, who really knows how to annoy me. and i believe that he represents the un-knowledgable car enthusiasts on ALL car forums... you know who im talking about. the dude who starts threads saying "ive got $700 and want to do a WRX swap"

now i just want to say, there is nothing wrong with people who dont live and breathe the car thing. and some people are still learning. thats fine. we were all there and we are all still learning every day. however there is a difference between learning, and strait up automotive ignorance. the people who just dont learn..

my co worker is one of those. he says/does dumb things all day, and every time he opens his mouth i want to smack him. why? because we work in the automotive industry. its his job to know some of this shit
i have to continually break things down to a JR. high level for him.
he never uses logic. doesnt listen when someone explains why this or that wont work after he asks.

here are a couple examples..

he has a 1993 FWD impreza EJ18 automatic.
he is talking about how he wants to..
make it AWD.
make it a 5MT
put a EJ25 into it.
put the 2.5rs bumper, lights, grill, hood, wing etc.
allow wheels.

so i tell him. it would probably be easier to sell your car and buy a 2.5rs.
so what does he do? buys a 2.5 rs that matches the discription above that just needs some body work, so he can swap the
AWD, 5MT, EJ25, bumper, lights, grill, hood, wheels, brakes, into his car..

so this prosses takes forever. (still not finished BTW)
and the whole time, he is constantly asking does this work with that? bla bla bla.
i continueally tell him "idk. you will have to research it."
so he gets to the part where he put the standard transmission in the car and he is ready to start it.
(which i might add, i warned him like 14 times about having to jump the nutral start switch to start it)
big suprise... car wont start.
so i tell him AGAIN. you need to take a wire and plug it into these to pins on the harness. i even show him.
he has no clue what im talking about. so i try to explain, the car has a switch that tells the TCU that the trans is in park so it can start.
still no clue. i could have been saying it in french. so i leave and come back and what has he done? taken the shift selinoid off the auto trans and ziptied it to the manual trans and just put it in park.

now he is saying he wants to put cams in his 2.5. but he doesnt have money for that, right now, so he is "just gonna turbo the 1.8 till i have the money to get cams"... let me repeat "JUST GONNA TURBO THE 1.8" as if just turboing it is a "ill do it tonight after work" type of thing.
and me and everyone i work with is telling him, save the money, buy the cams.

he also has plans of "making it faster than a WRX" which is doable in a GC with a 2.5 done right (you know cams, pistons, intake, exhaust)
however, he wants to try some different things for power.. such as...individual throttle bodies, with velocity stacks, and having the exhaust come out behind the front wheels.
i tell him its gonna be a huge pain in the ass, expensive, and not really any performace gain.
he says i just wanna prove it can be done.
i say. i didnt say it cant be done. i said its gonna be hard and expensive.
he says no im just gonna cut the intake manifold and have them go strait up.
i ask what is he gonna use to messure airflow, control idle, where are the vacuum lines gonna connect.
he says.. i dont need any of that.

btw another of his other future mods is the backwards wrx scoop to make it a cowl induction.

a couple days ago he got a reverse light ticket. (how the F do you do that btw)
so now he has to fix it, and he asked for me to help him.
so i tell him both the automatic and the manual have a switch for the reverse lights. and he needs to wire the manual trans harness (4 wires total) to the auto trans harness (total of 12 wires)
so after watch him try to figure it out for a while i tell him to go to legacy central and find the how to thread on it.
20 minutes. no luck. so i have to go and pull up the thread.
i tell him to read the paragraph with the reverse lights.
he says so i just plug a wire from pin 9 to pin 10 right.
me: no, then your lights would be on all the time..
him: so then i just plug in pins 1 and 3 together?
me: what?? no. how would pluging the transmission wires into each other turn the reverse lights on?
him: so then how do i do this.
(i wanted him to use his brain so i tried to help him along with out telling him exact what to do)
me: so the switch in the trans just closes a circut, right? k, so you need that to be the switch to the reverse lights. how are you gonna do that?
him: um i dont know..
me: you need a power in, and power out, right? k. so you need to take power from the car or TCU plug send it to the transmission so when you put the car in reverse it sends power to the lights.
him: this is confusing.
me: no its not! take this wire (holds it in fingers) this one has power when the ignition is on and is running thru a fuse. so its safe. connect it with this wire (holds in fingers) this wire goes to the reverse switch. then connect this wire (points it out) and this wire (points it out) so that when that switch closes the circut, the electricity will go from the switch to the reverse lights.
him: this is to compicated, ill just do it some other time.

i could go on and on and on

csweston
10-26-2011, 01:35 AM
Wow, I actually read all of that.

anothernord
10-26-2011, 02:06 AM
Well, it is good of you to help him at all. I think this is a case where he would be best of just learning how to do things himself the hard way.

Wiscon_Mark
10-26-2011, 08:14 AM
Do you have to work with this guy? I mean, what does he do?

I know some people like this in my field (selling Electronics) and hearing pure misinformation is horribly annoying. This guy really does take the cake though, wow!

Garrison
10-26-2011, 09:13 AM
I know your pain flashheart.

I think your best bet would be to earnestly encourage all of his project, such that he eventually has to sell his broken car and is unable to make it to work, i.e. canned.

B's Legacy Wagon
10-26-2011, 01:35 PM
Ha ha that was a long post and i feel for you budy. You have showed great patience and whent the extra mile showing him stuff/explaining things/and web searching for him. It like the leading a horse to water thing. i thing you will just have to cut him off completly, i would just be shaking my head as he tells his hairbrained ideas and if he asked questions i would be like "shrug" my shoulders, like i havnt a clue.
LOL with my ptsd issues an my easliy annoyed attitude. i would have been fired by now for knocking him out.
But then that why iam retired at 42. Best of luck to you and venting is always good :)

Dead91silvia
10-26-2011, 02:02 PM
Wow, I actually read all of that.

Same here...

I might be ignorant at times, but holy crap! Did that guy just fall off the dumb bus???? :banghead:

GTDrifter
10-26-2011, 02:12 PM
wow...such a long read but worth reading...I know a few people like that

I would tell him to sell both cars and buy a Honda...better ruin those cars than a Subaru

lord flashheart
10-26-2011, 03:46 PM
So, today he told me he wants to make his car Hella flush, so I say coil overs are pretty pricey. He says he is going to do air ride cuz coil overs are too expensive... Last time I checked air bag suspension is way expensive. I'm like that's pretty expensive too.

So he says "that's fine, I will just make my car battle stance."
I'm like Wtf is battle stance
He says its like hella flush only with out anything done to the motor.

lord flashheart
10-26-2011, 03:48 PM
Feel free to rant about dumb people in your life

HotBoxer
10-26-2011, 05:02 PM
ha battle stance. I like that. this guy sounds like the tool bag of the century. I knew a guy like that and he would always have to one up me talking about cars or anything remotely mechanical. I think at one point he had plans to frame off restore a 1995 buick skylark to factory. I asked if it had any sentimental value and he said no but it would be worth more to sell. This thing had more rust pinholes in the body than you could count and the drivers quarter was so smashed neither drivers side door would open.

Huffer
10-26-2011, 09:32 PM
You have a lot of patience!

But it's good that you're at least trying to help him. Some people will never get it though.

lord flashheart
10-26-2011, 10:40 PM
ha battle stance. I like that. this guy sounds like the tool bag of the century. I knew a guy like that and he would always have to one up me talking about cars or anything remotely mechanical. I think at one point he had plans to frame off restore a 1995 buick skylark to factory. I asked if it had any sentimental value and he said no but it would be worth more to sell. This thing had more rust pinholes in the body than you could count and the drivers quarter was so smashed neither drivers side door would open.


Hahahaha that's rediculous. But also hilarious.



You have a lot of patience!

But it's good that you're at least trying to help him. Some people will never get it though.

Don't get me wrong he is a nice guy, but dumber than a box of rocks.

1996Battlewagon
10-30-2011, 11:10 AM
Next time he asks you a question regarding engine troubleshooting, ask him if his flux capacitor is still working.

lord flashheart
10-30-2011, 03:11 PM
Hahaha ok I will that or ill ask him "dude when was the last time you ECU was changed. They usually go bad every 30k miles. So I would change that soon."

Yamazaki
10-30-2011, 04:20 PM
He needs to get his maintenance stuff from here: http://kalecoauto.com/index.php?main_pa ... dovp5r5rc4 (http://kalecoauto.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=2&zenid=59ggh025kbmrn58adovp5r5rc4)

I learned about that site after reading this thread: http://forums.vwvortex.com/showthread.p ... nker-fluid (http://forums.vwvortex.com/showthread.php?4984921-Blinker-fluid)


Hilarious.

Wiscon_Mark
10-30-2011, 04:42 PM
I forgot about KaleCo! That website is amazing.

GTDrifter
11-02-2011, 08:50 PM
So xosubielegacyxo and I were talking to a fellow subaru owner and he basically said what is pasted below. Had to add a little bit of previous information so you understand what it's about

I can put a turbo on my ej25, have the same hp and not have to struggle with taking the engine out

Garrison
11-03-2011, 09:47 AM
Well actually that's perfectly correct. Especially if duration of use isn't import to him.

Dead91silvia
11-03-2011, 11:11 AM
He needs to get his maintenance stuff from here: http://kalecoauto.com/index.php?main_pa ... dovp5r5rc4 (http://kalecoauto.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=2&zenid=59ggh025kbmrn58adovp5r5rc4)

I learned about that site after reading this thread: http://forums.vwvortex.com/showthread.p ... nker-fluid (http://forums.vwvortex.com/showthread.php?4984921-Blinker-fluid)


Hilarious.

Oh man! I needed a good laugh! I did see any muffler bearings though?!

lord flashheart
11-03-2011, 12:21 PM
So xosubielegacyxo and I were talking to a fellow subaru owner and he basically said what is pasted below. Had to add a little bit of previous information so you understand what it's about

I can put a turbo on my ej25, have the same hp and not have to struggle with taking the engine out

Lol If you struggle with taking the engine out you probably shouldn't work on it.